We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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