Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
