He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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