I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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