Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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