Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
accomplished twins. life is a go
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
