Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
