This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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