we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize