The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am midnight drunk by noon
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i've created a new STD.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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