Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
