I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
