I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
