Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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