i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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