Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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