I'm gonna have a badass scar
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Houston, we have a blender
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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