but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
