I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
