Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
