That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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