And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
