if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
