Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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