babies were throwing up all over the place
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
