just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
