Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
