I just threw up on my dentist
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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