shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
