I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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