doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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