don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I just sharted jello shots
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