there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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