is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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