tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
