it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
