Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
