he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
