i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
