So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
