arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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