whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
