Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
