The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
