There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is the high leading the old right now
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
