windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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