oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize