she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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