:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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