why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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