Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
