So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
