I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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