Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
