I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
