Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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