You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
