HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize