It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
